On the plus side of spam, there is always a certain humor factor involved... > Only from Shambhala Botanicals... > > Ho! Ho! Hookah! > Happy Holidays! > Don't forget to ask about our Holiday SPECIAL! Who the heck did the market research for this one??? I can see them sitting around in a room with the lights real low and a hookah burning away thinking to themselves, "Yeah, a Linux mailing list would be a GREAT place to promote our strange and unheard of drug!" > Offering for your "Sensitive" Delight: And my "strange" sense of humor maybe: > > "Seventh Heaven" Kathmandu Temple Kiff (tm); > a viripotent cannabis alternative for blissful regressions > of vexatious depressions... Let's count the number of "pseudowords" that are used here. I count two so far - viripotent and vexations > "Seventh Heaven" Prosaka Tablets (tm); a botanical > alternative to pharmaceutical medications for calm, > balance, serenity and joyful living... Oooo.. No pseodowords here... > "Seventh Heaven" Gentle Ferocity Tablets (tm); > a most efficacious, non-caffeine, non-ephedrine, > non-MaHuang botanical energizer... I'm gonna call efficacious a pseudoword, so along with non- MaHuang, were up to: 4 I think it's great how all of those names are trademarked. I don't think that they will EVER have to worry about proprietary rights.... > Kathmandu Temple Kiff is a proprietary; Nepalese, > sensitive, pipe-smoking/stoking substance. Kathmandu Temple > Kiff is indeed the most substantial marijuana/cannabis > alternative on the planet. Let's hear it for; use of semi-colons. > Absolutely Legal! Marvelously Potent! WELL THEN! > For your convenience, you can call us direct with your > orders or questions. Ask about our Holiday Specials! > Call 1 (719) 686-9919 Oh I'm tempted. This stuff would make the PERFECT stocking stuffer for the kidies. > Kathmandu Temple Kiff possesses all of the positive virtues > fine ganja/cannabis without any of the negatives. > An amalgamation of high concentrates of rare euphoric > herbas, Kathmandu is offered in a solid jigget/bar format > and is actually more UPLIFTING & POISED than cannabis / > marijuana while rendering Euphoria, Happiness, Mood- > Enhancement, Stress/Depression Relief and promoting > contemplativeness, creativity, better sleep, lucid dreaming ... > and enhancing the sexual experience!!! So basically what they're saying is that it's kinda like Ecstasy and Valium in one handy bar? > Kathmandu Temple Kiff is simply the best and just a little > pinch/snippet of the Kathmandu goes a long "sensitive" way. Yeah I "really" bet. > Just 4 or 5 draws of the pipe ... (an herb pipe included > with each package of Kathmandu Temple Kiff). Including a pipe?? That's like including a keyboard with a video game. > PLEASE NOTE: Although no botanical factor in Kathmandu > Temple Kiff is illegal or considered to be harmful by > regulatory agencies and no tobacco is included therein, > it is the policy of our company that Kathmandu Temple Kiff > may not be offered or sold to any person that has not > attained at least 21 years of age. Okay so strike this as a stocking stuffer. > Ingredients: > > Kathmandu Temple Kiff is both a euphoriant and an > uplifting, calmative relaxant that offers scintillating > physical and cerebral ambiance enhancement. Kathmandu > Temple Kiff is a proprietary, prescribed amalgamation which > includes the following synergistically, synesthesia > conglomerated, uncommon herbs, resins, essences, flower-tops > and oils in extreme ratio extractment ranging from 8.5 to > to 60 to 1, viripotent concentrations: Drachasha, Chavana > Prash, Trikatu, Black Seed Herb, Capillaris Herba, Angelica > Root, Wild Dagga, Haritaki, Shatavari, Labdunum, Neroli, > Unicorn Root, Papaver Rhoes, Dendrobian, Calea Zacalechichi, > Rue, Amla, Salvia Divinorum, Crocus Sativa, Lotus and > Gokshura. Well this list sort of throws my whole pseudoword count out the window, but lets see... calmative, synesthesia, conglomerated (can you use conglomerate like that??), and viripotent again, so that makes... what, 4+4=8? > Also for your sensitive mellowness... Mellow Yellow-ness? > "Seventh Heaven" Prosaka Tablets are an entirely natural, > proprietary, botanical prescription comprised of uncommon > Asian Herbs for Calm, Balance, Serenity and Joyful Living. When I'm talking about Things, I like To capitalize Randomly Too. > "Seventh Heaven" Prosaka is indeed a most extraordinary, > viripotent, calming, centering, mood-enhancing, holistically- > formulated, exotic herbaceous alternative to pharmaceutical > medications for depression, anxiety, stress, insomnia, etc. herbaceous??? You've got to be kidding me!!!! That's 9. > NO side effects! NO dependency! Vivaciously Mellow! Groove. > There is ABSOLUTELY nothing else quite like > "Seventh Heaven" Prosaka (tm). Yeah *I'll* say. > Ingredients: > > Seventh Heaven Prosaka tablets contain the following herbal > factors in precise prescription: Tadix Salviae, Sensitive > Mimosa Bark, Arullus Euphoriae, Shizandra, Frutcus Mori, > Caulis, Polygoni Multiflori, Zizphus, Tang Kuei, Cedar Seed, > weetflag Rhizome, Cuscutae, Amber, Radix Scutellariae, > Evodia, Longan, Arizisaema, Cistanches, Radix Polygalae, > Red Sage Root and Eucommia. > Recommended dosage: 1-2 tablets; 2-3 times per day. Sensitive Mimosa Bark? As opposed to the rough, uncaring type? > Also... for your "Sensitive" "Pure Energy" Energization... > "Seventh Heaven" Gentle Ferocity Tablets (tm). > A "Seventh Heaven" non-caffeine, non-ephedrine, non-ephedra, > non-MaHuang; viripotent, herbaceous prescription for the > dynamic energization of body, mind and spirit. I'll let non-ephedra slide because I think it's referring to the drug more commonly marketed as Sudafed <sp?>(same goes for ephedrine), but I see three previously used pseudowords rearing their ugly little heads again, soo..... 12 > This Gentle Ferocity Formulation is amalgamated in > accordance with the fundamental Taoist herbal principle > of botanical interactiveness and precursorship which in > essence is a molecular equation of the relevant botanical/ > herbal alkaloids and glycosides interacting with one > another to prolificate molecular communion and thereby > to achieve demonstrative herbal efficaciousness without > negative implication to any aspect of human composition. > These Gentle Ferocity Cordial Tablets are incredulously > and thoroughly effective. Enjoy! Enjoy indeed. Take the time to read through this last paragraph. It gets funnier every time! Annnnd, it bring the pseudoword count (pwc) to 15. I don't think that you can use interactive that way. Also, I reject efficaciousness and precursorship on general principles. > Contents: > Each Gentle Ferocity Tablet contains 500 mg. of the > following proprietary formulated, high-ratio concentrated > botanical factors... Cortex Eucommiae, Radex Polygoni > Multiflori, Zizyphus Seed, Fructus Schisandrae, Radix > Panax Ginseng, Radix Astragali, Atractylode, Sclerotium, > Porial Cocos, Saussurea Tang Kuei, Longan, Radix Paeoniae, > Biota Seeds, Glehnia, Radix Salviae, Ligusticum, Lycu Berry, > Radix Dioscoreae, Cortex Mouton, Frutcus Corni, Radix > Polygalae, Cistanches, Radix Pseudoslellariae and Cortex > Aranthopanacis. I'm no botanist, but so far I haven't recognized even one ingredient. And that kinda scares me. But then again, how many of them would a I recognize on a Mountain Dew can?? Such is life. Sorry for wasting all this bandwidth. Ben ----- Benjamin Exley Online Webmaster The Minnesota Daily bexley at daily.umn.edu (612) 627-4070 Ext. 3096